May 7, 2012

Introverts : Rise!

Shy or just Emo? (Credits
My group recently had a presentation on a particular course in our college. There were 6 of us in the group. Now, the thing about working in groups is that some people put in more efforts than the others. In my group, I along with my friend - lets call him S, did most of the work. The rest of the members put in from medium to low efforts to prepare the presentation. But during the presentation, guess who did the most of the talking? Hint - not S and me. Guess who saved and steered the presentation in a new and teacher-friendly manner? The ones who did the lesser work. Well, damn..

The Problem


Now, the point here is not to point out who did how much work. That is irrelevant. The point here to ponder upon is why S and I could not defend the work we had done. Afterall, we had made all the slides and documents from scratch. We knew each and every word written in them. Then why were we unable to speak out during our group presentation? Contemplating upon this in our college cafe, S and I realized that it was probably because both of us were introverts.

The term 'introvert' has some ridiculous prejudices in people's minds. One of the most popular being :
Introverts don’t like to talk.
"This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days". Very correctly said. With this statement, the problem described above becomes clearer. We are bad at making small and informal talk with people. We only believe in talking as much is required, not more.

Unfortunately, the world doesn't work this way and that's where the introverts have a disadvantage. The world is based upon connecting with people. We all are social animals. We need to have a certain comfort level with the people we are interacting to leave a positive impression. And to build a certain comfort level, we need to relate with the other person - find some grounds of agreement, disagreement, likes, dislikes, situation etc.

Now tell me, how is this possible if introverts aren't willing to indulge in this 'mindless' exercise? The result - the talk is short and formal. And formal talks don't build much of a comfort level. Hence, the inability to present properly.

This might have been the reason why I screwed up my MICA and hundreds of other interviews. Introverts like me tend to spend a greater part of their day in peace and tranquility, with their own thoughts or with their innermost circle of friends. Some of us even avoid being too vocal about our views due to the fear of being branded 'a weirdo' by this judgmental society.

Defining the problem in a nutshell, introverts (including me) are being trampled upon. And no one else but the introverts themselves are responsible, and can change their condition.


What is being done to encourage introverts?

I never said being an introvert is bad. Infact, I am a proud introvert. However, there's just this little communication thing I'd like to change about myself. Apart from that, we are known to possess a better command over our thoughts, actions and decisions that the impulsive extroverts.

In fact, many organizations are slowly realizing this fact and have started taking steps to promote a work culture of vocal equality. For example, meetings now have anonymous sharing and voting of ideas so that everyone can express their ideas without feeling the discomfort of being judged by their colleagues. There are 'idea-boxes' and suggestion-boxes where anyone can post anything without having to reveal their names.

Have a look at the following TED Talk. Its one of the best videos I have seen on TED. In this Ms. Susan Cain explains how the introverts are an asset to the society and what steps need to be taken to bring an introvert-extrovert balance to the society. The best spent 20 minutes of your day!



The DIY solution : Enter the 'Ambivert'

Whatever the people and the organizations may be doing to turn introverts into heavy-performance assets, these steps will take time. Till then, the solution does not lie in ranting about the world being an unfair place for introverts. The solution lies in helping them give up some of the disadvantageous practices of introversion and incorporating the good points of extroversion. In other words - upgrade to an ambivert.
am·bi·ver·sion : A personality trait including the qualities of both introversion and extroversion.
I am trying to rise above my introversion and some of the steps I have taken to improve include interacting regularly with people, not caring about others' judgement about me, saying what I feel like and kicking the energy-drainers out of my life. The solution is not going out and trying of win over as many people as you can. The solution is going after quality rather than quantity. But despite this socialization drive of mine, I still have retained the core properties of an introvert, like taking out time for myself, immersed in my own thoughts and world. This has helped me take better decisions, meet up with different types of people, who I discovered were a big help along the way.

So this is my message for the introverts. Stop being lost out in the crowd. Stop being sensitive to judgement. Stop being afraid of socializing. And start living your life the way YOU want to. The world is a mean place only if you let it be. As everyone says, too much of everything is bad and the same applies for introversion and extroversion. The path lies in the middle, incorporating the best of both types. True story.

So, what type of a person are you and how is it helping you / not helping you? I wish to know your story!


9 comments:

  1. well...what shall I say...???
    You already know my story...dude...believe me...that was a superb read... :)
    take care...GOD bless you... :)

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  2. there is no and i mean abosulutely NO connection between screwing up interviews and introvertness,wonder who told you this,on the contrary intoverts have an advantage when it comes to interviews ,they know what is "THE RIGHT" thing to say and when, since they are so selective in speaking + they are good listeners as well.EXTROVERTS can blabber all they want and still might not even make any sense.

    P.S - to succeed in interviews you need to think on your feet .

    So stop cribbing about the fact that you are an introvert and use it to your advantage.The feeling I got after reading the first part of this topic was like an abject surrender from your side . Dude remember "Introvertness is NOT a weakness".

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    1. I agree with you, introverts do tend to think better than extroverts. But I just said that we are not as good as communicating it to others, hence screwing up the interviews. But never did I mention that we are less competent than our extrovert counterparts in any type of skills.

      Lastly, I never said Introversion is any kind of weakness, nor did I intend to crib about it. In fact, if you noticed, I said that I am a 'proud introvert'. However, no type of behavior is perfect and hence, I was merely suggesting that we manage our loose ends of social communication because that is one area which an introvert needs to work upon, hence the shift towards ambiversion.

      However, to each his own!

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    2. Dude the moment i opened this blog, right from pic you choose to put to the content and choice of words i could sense hopelessness as i stated earlier an "abject surrender" to the fact that you are an introvert.

      You are right when you say introverts have a cramped social life, but not when it comes to any kind of interviews or any such sort of thing, because in such cases what matters is your 1-)CONFIDENCE level and 2-)ability TO THINK on your feet.these two things depend on your SKILLS and not on the type of person or nature you posesses. And believe me i've seen many introverts nailing interviews like anything.

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    3. Hmm.. I think that our views differ because I have been around too many extroverts and seen many of my introvert friends fail, and you experienced the opposite. But then our opinions stem from our experiences, don't they? :)

      Btw, I don't understand whats the need to reply anonymously. I would very much like to know who you are because you present good arguments to my opinions!

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  4. I quite relate to the things you wrote,except the fact that you associate your failures with your introverted personality.You should acknowledge your strengths and your 'no nonsense' approach towards people and life.And for your assurance- I am an introvert and cleared the interview at MICA.So, accept yourself the way you are and stop trying to change yourself for the people around you.And yes, read about being an outgoing introvert,you might turn out to be one ! hope it helps. :)

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    Replies
    1. Hi Madhulika,

      Thanks for your comment. I was surprised to find a comment on this post after 4 years of writing it (I even forgot that I wrote this). 4 years is a lot of time to understand ourselves better and make improvements on our shortcomings. The things you described have happened with me already 😁

      I am now more social and outgoing, although I maintain my introvert roots. I have also stopped blaming my introvert nature for things not going according to plan. To sum up, I've become much wiser since the time I wrote this.

      Thanks for your comment again!

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